Theme: CORE Values of YOU!

CORE: Enneagram & Values: BANK

We went through the enneagram assessment today - learning about the main 9 types, the wings, the movement of the arrows, the subtypes, and the emotional gateways (891: tied to body/gut, 234: tied to heart, and 567 tied to head).

If you are curious about learning more/researching, be sure to include resarching the subtypes: SP, SO, SX. Because they are so different! A great author to access is Beatrice Chestnut, PhD—well known Enneagram guru. Her book, The COMPLETE Enneagram is one of my favorites!

Remember, although there only 9 types, with the subtypes there are actually 27!!!

Another resource you can acccess is the company I use for my reports: https://www.integrative9.com/ They have good info. MATTER-OF-FACT, I JUST remembered i recently purchased their book and it is one of my new favorite resources I’ve snapped a couple pics for you below!

Then we looked at BANK. Seemingly simple but at the depth of VALUES (vs. behavior)! So good. Really gets to the core of a person’s decision making. At the very end of the video, we compare two sets of cards to see the dynamic. THIS is when i personally saw the unddeniable value of BANK. I think you saw it too. Represented in YOUR challenging relationships,(and have seen myself for years)!!! If you haven’t watched it, I think this will make you a convert.

Check your email next week for September Session prep.

Enjoy this last summer/holiday weekend everyone!!!

Theme: Motivation

Reiss Motivation Assessment, Kilmann Conflict Resolution assessment, Conversation Styles: High Involvement vs. High Consideration

We went over the Kilmann Conflict Resolution assessment. I have never seen so many “collaborators” but then again, it is the first time I’ve used this assessment with people who work in municipal government. Collaboration and serving the whole is the nature of the job. I typically see more lopsided results so good for you! I hope you think of these styles as you are moving through various conflict scenarios.

The Reiss Motivation Assessment, although “not surprising” is a really important tool. Not only to give formal language to your own motivators and needs, but also for each of you to note what is in your CORE. What do you “need” to be happy and whole? Another important aspect is those you lead! Understanding them and their motivators is very important. Not so much in how you motivate them, but more importantly about knowing how they make decisions, and better understanding their perspectives. To me, the most important aspect is when two or more people are off/different in their motivators. Those differences will cause clashes if not aware.

Lastly, learning about the communication styles, High Consideration and High Involvement. Similar theory this applies here: not a big deal when you are with someone like yourself, but a potential big deal when with someone who is opposite. Right? The motivation of the HC is to be RESPECT FUL and the motivation of the HI is ENGAGEMENT/ENERGY.

Although I said “no homework” the ceiling/floor is an ongoing topic. I did not drill down on this in this session… we will upcoming. Couple questions… How are you getting rid of ceiling issues? Maybe through how you are living LIFE and the choices you are making—shifting YOU? Then be sure to summarize for yourself (like a new line in the sand). Maybe using tapping? Maybe journaling and having aha’s? Maybe the meditation exercise we talked about in the beginning? Are you using music to help you get higher faster? Please be working on working this!

Bonus Points for being PRESENT, CONSCIOUS, and GROUNDED.

p.s. don’t forget to scheudle 1:1

Theme: Riding on the Emotional Elevator

Mental position: Conscious vs. Sub/Un-Conscious, Elevated Emotions, MUSIC, Creativity, Convergent & Divergent Thinking, Continuation: Emotional Elevator, Tapping,

Last Session’s homework was to find a piece of music that inspires you. The selections were so different, and yet similar threads throughout! All evoking emotion. That’s what it is all about, right? FINDING THAT ELEVATED EMOTION. That’s where the good stuff is. Lean into the idea (and practice) of finding ways to elevate your emotions… to open up creativity, reduce stress, be a better human, give grace, etc.

We’ve talked about how powerful the mind is in previous sessions and 16/50. I shared the examples of BIOFEEDBACK and FIREWALKING. It is real! LOL, if I can find my firewalk pic, I will. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I totally misspoke today. 🙄 Even as I was saying it, it didn’t make sense to me but it was what I had written down. I checked it, and yes, I was mistaken! When stressed, the thinking gets convergent and narrow…focused on one solution. When present and conscious, the thinking is divergent—open and allowing more creative solutions… possibilities.

Marcie took us on an Emotional Elevator ride, showing how to shift our mental state and shift our emotions. Thank-you for sharing Marcie! We are looking forward to the unfolding drama… shall we all bring popcorn the next session??? 🤪

Susan entered the meeting visibly not herself. Lots going on, and we were able to use the same technique to talk through what she is dealing with. A couple of other thoughts:

*. Acceptance - If this situation can be “the playground” to teach/gain perspectiive for future situations, then YAY.

*. Lessons - “there is a lesson in everything if you look for it” - if you can look at siutations with curiosity about what you might gain from the particular experience, you will grow exponentially!!!

* Self Love - Be sure to honor yourself and show yourself kindness, compassion, grace, and self love in hard moments like this. If you can stay out of the destructive patterns and lean into self care and mourning, you'll honor REAL emotions and bounce back much faster. We are human after all!

*. Intention vs. Impact - don’t forget this handly little too/perspective. When you are ready to loose it because of negative impact, first pause and think of the person’s intention. Not saying their intention is pure necessarily, but the intention might be to RELIEVE THEMSELVES by dumpnig it on you. Then you have to just laugh, realize that is not super cool, somewhat imbalanced, stand in your power, and give some back, etc. (like when Susan said to go to her manager and proactively say “this is all i can do right now, and it is what it is…how do we prioritize”)

*. Boundaries/Limits - You decide. What are you willing to do, take, give… energetically. Even though you’re signed up TO DO IT, you can still state how it’s going down. Like setting priorities.

* Others often assume High D’s have no heart, so they come in HOT and ON FIRE to counteract the energy. Not fair! Show them your vulnerability and start retraining others!

*. Heart vs. Head. One of my favorite tools. And yet a very underutilized muscle, especially in business, and especially with D’s. Be patient. You’ll get there… promise! Plan to use it, not necessairly HOW to use it.

*. I wish we would have had time for the Bhama convo - we had it after the fact. Please let’s start there next time!!! Bhama, you’re reaction was quite S of you!—just sayin’ 😆😆😆

HOMEWORK:

Revisit Ceiling & FLoor

Ask yourself questions to get to the root of it like “what gets you riled up?”, “What is your consistent pet peeve?”, “Backpack issues?” “Old messaging?” “Old Paradigms"?”, “is there a certain type that triggers you?”

Set a Timer. Sit with those questions and thoughts (eyes closed) and go inward. Ask yourself those questions. See what emerges. Ponder. Give yourself ample time.

When the timer goes off, decide. What do you want to keep? What do you want to get rid of? Realize a lot of your ceiling is from your younger you and/or from other people(!). See it from your now/adult self and decide!

Maybe use your music to get into that powerful stance to get into your personal power and figure out what you actually want!!!

Have gratitude for the lessons. Have gratitude for the time spent in meditation. Gave gratitude for the new awareness and perspective.

What is your GO FORWARD strategy?

Theme: You are responsible for the energy you take into a room!

DiSC - Part 2, DiSC feedback & observations, Your energy, TAPPING, zig-zagging, emotinoal elevator, and musical homework!

First things first… July 4th and summer stories (“Do you see me?”) - 😆

We continued the DiSC theme . Great stories/examples from everyone rearding real-life and the application of DiSC. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. Noteworthy. We/I shared feedback/observations about the types (we have predominately 2 in this group, HIgh D’s and High S/High C’s). Talking about our profiles (and others with whom we interact) from a EXT vs. INT perspective, and a TASK vs. PEOPLE perspective.

Quick writing exercise looking for the gap in who we are/percieve ourselves to be and who we want to BE… we will play with this next time. (no, not reading your writing (verboten!) but understading your gap… it will help me continue to shape the content and direction.

Other topics: Operating from your core; responding to people from the perspective of the emotional elevator; serving others (balanced) and serving others (imbalanced—the extremes). Making sure we are coming from our CORE persepctive, balanced and wholly ourselves is the first priority. No matter what happens, when from this place, all is good… presenting from our best selves is the optimal outcome!

We finished wtih TAPPING, a.k.a. EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique. Hopefully everyone “felt it”. Although for Marcie’s benefit, it was high-level enough that it should have resonated for everyone on some level… including me!

All the best everyone!

TIme to start thinking about scheduling your 30 minute 1-on-1. At some point, when you are ready, reach out to me via email and give me a few options, and let’s do this! My suggestion is to schedule yourself for at least an hour… time for us to meet followed by processing/journaling/planning time. We can talk about this more the next time.

I’ll reload the DiSC link as well as add the podcast link from the E.F.T. person I menitioned - Lisa Nichols.

HOMEWORK: Find a piece of music that inspires/resonates/represents/motivates you. Bring the title and artist and i’ll pull it up on Spotify for us to listen to (30 second(ish segments). If you can, bring the TIME STAMP of the section that resonates!

Take time to enjoy your summer!

Theme: Speaking French, not BEing French!

DiSC

After our updates we did a deep divei nto DiSC. DiSC in itself isn’t necessarily the end-all. Like most other assessments, it is what you do with it that matters. How you approach a conversation often emanates from your own nature. A “D” speaks like a “D” to everyone, which is problematic to non-D’s (the remaining 3/4!), and when the “S” person speaks from an “S” perspective when speaking to a D, an I, or a C. Again, problematic. So, I hope you can see how you “give away your power” by only speaking your language!!!

Today in particular it was great to hear Maria’s epiphany about stating her opinion if it is something she will have to defend (YES!), and Bhama’s realization that she might have helped her new leadership NOT see her as a leader based on her S-tendency to not take the big office!

Remember, you are not only your DiSC profile, you are layers (of assessments) that come into play.

All that to say, a couple additional points I want to make about DiSC:

* D’s like “concise”. They have no patience for the details or rambling. if they want to know more, you can count on them to ask. When you see a D wander, it is a signal to pull back. Also, I think I mentioned D’s don’t necessarily like each other. Slow to trust, they rely on themselves. They also tend to think they are the most awesome person in the room.

* I ‘s can seem like “liars” to other profiles, especially High C’s. Why? Because they tend to exaggerate,… which the C person who is accurate and not-flowery finds this dishonorable. The reality is the High-I person doesn’t remember the exact number or situation, and they know it was in the ballpark. BUT that is not how it is perceived. They have blurry lines and can often be late. I’s often think they are super fun and funny.

* S folks (okay, you are NOT going to like this!!!) can appear “not smart” because they do not speak up! If I could wave a magic wand over S people, it would be to have them speak up more. I had to ask my most HIgh S client ever what was going on because (in a group program) I couldn’t tell if she was not engaged, or not smart. Neither one! When she heard this she knew she , to her credit and courage, started setting a goal for herself to speak up at least 2-3 times per meeting. Eventually, as she stood more and more in her power, she became an active contributor. S’s, often the kindest and most compassionate in the room will get overlooked because this trait isn’t rated as important for othes.

* C people can sometimes feel assertive When challenged (for being incorrect), wronged, or if they feel someone is unethical or not telling the truth (even if only their impression) they will dip into judgment, That is when you will see righteous behavior. That being said, although abrasive, they are who I want on my team as we are finalizing details and making sure the i’s are dotted and the t’s are crossed! C’s also tend to think they are the smartest person in the room.

Marcie: 13-4-4-9

Crystal 15-4-5-6

Heather 10-4-8-8

Maria 5-5-11-9

Susan 15=4=6=5

Bhama 5-6-10-9

Theme: The Heart of Leadership

Stepping Into your power, Giving up you power, Emotional Elevator, Head vs. Heart, CORE goodness.

In a deeper conversation about personal power, we talked about ways people give theirs away (and how WE give ours away). As you do this work, your view expands and you can see things/”others” more clearly. Each of you was able to identify a situation when a person has gotten small or big, out-of-balance, more into ego, and away from core.—off-center, or “wobbly” as I call it. THAT is powerful! Great awareness!! Once you can identify it, you can manage it, right?

The Emotional Elevator concept seems so darned logical, yet, when we are “in it” and/or dealing with others lower (or higher), it is challenging. Staying on your own floor is the ticket! And of course, monitoring your energy and reaching for the higher place. Please do not let yourself get bamboozled… you do not need to lower yourself to someone else’s level… figuratively and literally!!!

We also reviewed (quickly) the components of Emotional Intelligence: Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness, and Self Regulation (in social settings).

My favorite exercise was the Head vs. Heart exercise! All of you did great. It is an evolving process, and a short-cut tool to help you in the moment. Yes, I had my eyes closed but of course, in real life, your eyes (hopefully!) will be open. The more you practice this (especially in the privacy of your own space), you will feel the power of this very simple technique. More and more, you will instinctively drop into your chest to have real, vulnerable, compassionate conversations. BTW, for the longest time, I thought of myself as a NON-compassionate person. 😳 This is so doable!

Homework:

1. Practice/use the H vs. H technique 1-2 times before our next session. (At a minimum! Over achievers are welcome!!!)

2 .Please continue working on/meditating/thinking about(?) the ceiling and floor perspective.

3. I’ll be sending an assessment out with my “refresh” email. Please download, print, and fill out. Circle one word per horizontal row—you will end up with 30 circled words. Only one word per row (even if many apply), and no blank rows (even though none of the words may fit). We will score it live and go through the model at our next session.

4. Have a great couple of weeks!!! ❤️

Theme: Assessment Dossier, P.I.E., PB (Pink/Blue or Pomegranate/Banana), Balance/CORE

We added the “Spotlight” today, which was a little longer, deeper dive into a particular participant who might benefit from additional time/comments at this time. The plan is to continue this in future sessions.

Thank-you to all for your insightful and wise input. You/the cohort benefits from the input. 1. You all have unique experiences and perspectives!, 2. You know the behind-the-scenes Municipal Government day-to-day firsthand, 3. It offers a smorgasbord of ideas!

As you “figure out” your teams/boards/counsels/families, create your own version of a dossier! It gives a comprehensive snapshot of the perspectives.

P.I.E. - Performance !0%, Image 30%, Exposure 60%. In my humble opinion, this stat (E!) explains a lot about the 16/50 number, right? For instance, studies look at how genders spend their lunch hours. For the most part… Men: networking/out-to-lunch with peers and upper management, Women: running errands or catching up on tasks while eating lunch at their task (or skipping lunch).

Not every “talk time” needs to be problematic! Thank-you Susan for sharing your travel plans with us. It was inspiring and impressive… all part of life balance, and finding our joy.

For future reference, i’ll add any pics or models as entries on this section, towards the bottom.

If you have any questions, observations, comments, etc. please email me anytime!

P.s. Today I had it in “speaker mode” vs. gallery—i think I like gallery view better for the sake of the playback and seeing reactions. All that to say, “Maria, YOUTUBE decided you would represent today as our session video thumbnail!”

Theme: Grounding, Balance, Core Self—Vertical Energy, and Right/Left Brain Processing

As you continue your growth journey and step more fully into your “Best Self,” grounding and balance are essential. I’m hoping you find time to sneak some into your daily routine. 

As I continue to reflect on my recent off-balance workshop story (there’s a lesson in everything!), I came across this excerpt from a motivational email. It struck a chord and captured the idea of “giving away my power” in a new way:

“...others cannot vibrate in your experience...they cannot affect the outcome of your experience. They can hold their opinions against you, but it does not negatively affect you...unless you push back. It only gains power if you resist.”

I love this! They can stew in their own energy, but it wasn’t until I handed over my power that their momentum could take hold—and start to impact me. I hope that resonates!

Also—I love how amazing right/left brain awareness is! So impactful. Below you will find a visual to give you more right/left brain ammunition. Imagine someone far-right-brained interacting with someone far-left-brained... and the misunderstandings that can happen(!). Once you process and apply the “train cars" and "snow globe” metaphors, it opens up an entirely new layer of understanding.

As you go through your day-to-day, start to notice yourself. When do you get riled up or triggered, what kind of miscommunications are happening (albeit small), when do you feel like an observer (almost chuckling inside) because you can see the issue between two people who are not in sync, and what kind of thoughts are you having about your growth and/or evolving perspective? Be sure to write it down!!!

Theme: Stretching & Conflict Resolution

You are a powerful cohort of women and I am thrilled to BE with you!

Please continue be-ing with your ceiling and floor issues based on the homework prompt from 4-8-25.. More than anything, it is interesting to note how you make meaning about your topics, if you notice them (or your perceptions of them) shifting, notice them in everyday life and/or their impact, your resistance, how they benefit you (because in some way they do!!!), and even how sick and tired you are of the limitations! Occasional documentation/journaling is recommended.

During the next session, I hope to have a quick open mic convo for 10 minutes about updates over the past couple of weeks. Then I would like to share a few relevant topics. To be followed by each of you having individual coaching/sharing time. My goal is to max out the individual time as much as is possible, so please be on-time.

Your individual time is short but sweet. Optimally you have thought about it in advance and are ready to share (a situation, a concern, a question, help(!), an update, etc.). The more succinct you are, the more time I and the cohort are able to weigh in with perspective, support, and or advice. Point being, your prep will make all the difference in the world!

By the way, personally I like to do a combo… A brief update to keep everyone on the same page, my recent experience/aha, and then my big ask. Needless to say, this require prep and clear communication. No pressure, we will continue to refine!!!

A few introspective question to help you prep:

-What am I struggling with?

-Where is my resistance?

-Have I had any aha’s or “pings” and what do they mean?

-What do I want to work on? What will help me move forward?

-What exactly is it that I’m hoping to move toward? What will look like when I’ve achieved it?

-What lingering questions do I have?

-I don’t really know what I want/need to work on, and as I make that statement what pops up for me is X.

-I want to move forward, and intuitively I know I need help/support with…

-I could use help connecting the dots/making sense of these data points.

-I just want to share/use the time as a sounding board…

Since this is such a big gap in our meeting dates between April and May, I hope you have extra time to dig in and get introspective!

p.s. Thank-you all for raising your hands, to be in the program, your patience as I continue tweaking, and for processing your invoice so quickly (all have been received).

🙏🏻

PODCAST LINK: https://youtu.be/PypKHNIKM6w

Another resource is Nick Ortner & Jessica Ortner (siblings)—the Tapping Solution.

Personally, I learned it when at a coaching retreat in Jackson Hole, WY many many years ago!

Additional DiSC Profile LInk:

Link: https://www.heidifrye.com/podcast/mariah-walton-her-ceiling-is-now-her-floor

I had recommended Marcie listen to this podcast, and she thought it/Mariah, was AMAZING. So… for your listening pleasure, here is the link! Enjoy!!

SO interesting! I had AI generate a pic for me, an original Kilmann Conflict Model using silhouettes. The first version only had male silhouettes… I asked “Chad”/ChatGPT to reformat using a mixture of females and males. Interesting bias, right? p.s. FYI, this took about 12 attempts!!! It is far from perfect but it does the job.—the upper quadrants are COMPETITIVE and COLLABORATIVE.