Vulnerability ≠ Disclosure

Recently, while facilitating a workshop on vulnerability and leadership, a woman raised her hand.

She was very clear from the beginning. "I'm not touchy-feely." 😆

She described feeling somewhat detached from her team. She also wasn't interested in sharing a lot of personal information or becoming overly emotional in an effort to connect with them.

"How do I connect?"

My response was essentially this:

I don't think you're resisting vulnerability.

I think you're confusing vulnerability with disclosure.

They're not the same thing.

Disclosure is sharing information about yourself. And yes, disclosure can make you vulnerable.

Vulnerability doesn't require telling your team about your childhood, your marriage, your fears, or what kept you awake last night.

Sometimes vulnerability sounds like:

"I don't know."

"I made a mistake."

"I need your help."

"What am I missing?"

"I'm sorry."

Or even...

"You were right." 😬

You can be a private person while also being a vulnerable leader.

Maybe closing the distance with your team isn't about becoming more personal.

Maybe it's about becoming more accessible.

Letting people see that you don't have all the answers. That you value their perspective. That you're in this together. That you're willing to own a mistake.

You don't have to become touchy-feely.

You just have to let people in.

❤️ Heidi