Are you a deep listener?

The average person speaks around 125 to 150 words per minute.

Our brains are able to process somewhere between 400 to 1,000 words per minute. More than double, sometimes quadruple, the speed at which we’re hearing information.

That gap is fascinating when you think about it. On one hand, it gives us time to process what we’re hearing, to mentally summarize, to hold onto certain pieces of information, and even formulate responses.

Well, that’s the generous interpretation of what’s happening in that space!

But here’s what actually happens most of the time: grocery lists. To-do lists. Mental tangents about something completely unrelated. We drift. The gap (and our need to be constantly productive) signals us to disengage, almost giving us permission to be physically present but mentally somewhere else entirely.

One of my executive clients calls it deep listening. He came up with this special term because of how he feels when we have a conversation. Heard. Understood. Valued. Deep listening is about using that time to stay in the conversation rather than escape it. To use the extra processing capacity to listen for the breath between the words, the nuance in the tone, the things being said underneath what’s actually being said(!).

So much communication lives in that space. The hesitation before an answer. The slight shift in energy when a certain topic comes up. The words someone chooses, and the ones they avoid. You miss all of it when you’re mentally reviewing your afternoon schedule.

The gap between speaking speed and processing speed exists whether we use it consciously or not. The question is whether we’re filling it with distraction (like multitasking!) or using it to tune into those extra tidbits and cues that tell you what’s really being said.

Have you tapped into the magic of deep listening?

It’s something to ponder, isn’t it?