The Courage to Ask

Lately, I’ve been noticing something I can’t unsee.

People around me, speaking passively.

Not in big, obvious ways, but in small, everyday moments. They imply. They circle. They hope the other person will pick up on their cues and (take responsibility to) fill in the gaps.

I hadn't really noticed this before, because my tendency is to jump ahead. To anticipate. To read between the lines. To fill in the gaps. To help before anything is actually asked--a by-product of my sales background I'm sure.

Hmmm... gap-filling might be enabling this poor communication habit. With heightened awareness, instead of jumping in, and intentionally staying out, I've become aware of how prevalent this is.

A few real-life examples:

1. In a meeting, a person says, “It would be nice if this project gained some momentum.” Silence. No direct ask. No ownership. Just a suggestion floating in the air, waiting for someone else to grab ahold of it.

2. Someone says, “Wow, I’ve been so overwhelmed lately,” and then pauses. They sigh. They describe everything on their plate. They hint. But they never actually ask for help. The need is clear but the words are not.

3. Instead of saying, “I believe my contributions warrant a salary review,” someone might say, “I’ve been doing a lot lately,” hoping the connection is made. Again, the message is buried.

People aren’t mind readers. And when one person hints while another fills in the gaps, we reinforce a pattern that doesn’t actually serve either of us.

When we speak passively, we give away our power! Our desired outcome is in someone else’s hands--contingent on them noticing, interpreting, and deciding to act. They may not correctly connect the dots. Not because they don’t care, but because they are approaching the situation from their own perspective, not yours.

You owe it to yourself to work on this.

Having the courage to ask for what you need isn’t pushy.
It isn’t rude.
It isn’t demanding.

It’s clear. It's powerful(!). It builds confidence, both in yourself and in how others experience you.

When you practice saying what you need out loud, you strengthen your voice, your presence, and your leadership. Stop shrinking your “asks.” Honor yourself by daring to talk about, and request, what’s important to you. And quite frankly, you demonstrate real respect for others when you communicate clearly. You can do this!

Strengthening your voice is a major step forward in owning your power.