What Do Tears Mean?

There were a few times early-on in my career when I was judged—and even criticized—for crying. In fact, a former manager asked me to hand in my resignation while I was crying. (Now, I have the best boss and best "job" ever--I don't believe I've cried in 20 years!😉)

The tears weren't about fragility. Or a bad attitude.

They were mostly repressed frustration. Disappointment. Overwhelm. Sometimes, passion. Which takes us back to frustration.

A while back, I was wrapping up a year-long leadership program with an executive team. The CEO reflected on the team's journey and everything they had accomplished together. His eyes filled with tears.

Afterward, I said to him, "I didn't know you were so brave."

He looked at me with surprise.

I believe it is brave to be vulnerable.

And yes, it is courageous to let people see the real you.

Especially people you lead. His authenticity was a gift to them. They saw how important they were.

More recently, while speaking to an audience, I shared a story about my dad. As I told it, tears welled up in my eyes.

Did those tears diminish the message?

Or did they deepen it?

Research suggests emotional tears are one of the body's natural ways of regulating stress and restoring balance.

They aren't a flaw in our design.

They're the miraculous part of it.

We often assume they signal weakness, instability, or a lack of composure.

I wonder if we've been getting it all wrong.

Leadership isn't the absence of emotion. It's the willingness to show up authentically, even when emotion shows up with you.

Maybe tears don't reveal weakness.

Maybe instead, they reveal authenticity. Or simply that something matters.

Nope. Not suggesting you shed tears at your next meeting, but I do dare you to be your most authentic and vulnerable self.

❤️ Heidi