When Leadership Means Following

I recently took a ballroom dance lesson.

Which was not entirely out of the blue.

Growing up, my dad loved to dance. With three daughters and my mom, let's just say he had a very full dance card.

So while I wasn't starting from scratch, I am definitely not a polished dancer(!), and new dances require learning new steps.

The instructors, Dustin and Megan Johnson, were wonderful. Patient. Encouraging. Skilled.

Besides the expected observation and correction, the single piece of feedback I heard more than once was,

"Stop leading."

Ugh.

This is not the first time I've heard this—Dad, this is for you.

Why is this so darn difficult for me?

Seriously. As a grown-up, I suppose I get to dig into it and figure it out 🤷🏻‍♀️.

You know... a lesson.

I certainly didn't think I was better than the instructors. Of course.

It was something else.

Maybe, I was (once again) relying on myself to figure it out.

Not trusting another to have my back.

Leading, and anticipating the next move (on my own).

Not letting go.

All of this actually made it harder to learn.

Interesting.

Because leadership conversations almost always focus on leading—how to lead. How to influence. How to communicate. How to inspire.

But what about that other very important leadership skill?

Followership.

The willingness to trust.

To learn.

To be guided.

And to allow someone else to lead. Especially when they are the expert in the room!

That takes humility.

And more self-awareness than we want to admit.

The strongest leaders are not the ones who insist on leading in every situation.

They're the ones who know when to step forward.

And when to follow.

Turns out, ballroom dancing and leadership have a lot in common.

Ha! I'm still working on the dance part.

But the leadership lesson landed immediately.