When Perfectionism Steals Your Voice

As a favor to a colleague, I met with a newly appointed executive director of a foundation, to offer some guidance regarding her presentation skills. As she’d taken on more public speaking responsibilities, she needed some reassurance and a few pointers.

I was expecting someone quiet, maybe a bit demure or shy.

That’s not who showed up.

In fact, I found her to be strong, articulate, and capable. She knows who she is. And yet, like many strong people I work with, when it comes to public speaking, she gets in her own head and becomes less than her best self.

The one quality I see most often getting in the way of effective public speaking is perfectionism. It’s not surprising that people want to be perfect, right? But that drive can easily turn into a slippery slope.

It starts with the desire to make a great impression. When they realize they are imperfect—not a common feeling for high performers—anxiety spikes. Then comes the fear of making a mistake (any mistake would make an awful impression!). This leads to rigidity and over-rehearsal, resulting in a scripted, robotic talk.

Whew.

In the quest for perfection, speakers get further and further away from who they truly are. They lose their heart.

When you lose your heart, you lose your authenticity—the best part of you. You lose your connection to your audience. Which, of course, causes disengagement.

One of my first clients, twenty years ago, was preparing for an important presentation to the president of her company. Her promotion depended on it.

We had six weeks together, and I spent five of those weeks working not on her slides, but on her mindset. Helping her believe she was worthy of leading this very smart, highly degreed team.

The result? She got the promotion.

The real work was helping her see her value. Her worthiness. That she belonged there. Just as she was. I could see her mental gymnastics—asking herself, “How can I lead all these PhDs and scientists when I don’t have those degrees myself?”

What she couldn’t see was that she had exactly what that department needed in a manager: vision, communication skills, and emotional intelligence. They needed a particular skill set in a leader. Her skillset. The qualities not obtained from a degree.

Once she understood this, believed it, and felt it in her bones, it translated into her ability to deliver a compelling and authentic presentation. She was enough. Perfectly imperfect, she was perfect for this team.

Mindset is everything. Don’t let perfectionism steal your spotlight.