Your Underrated Tool

It’s a time of year when we all remind ourselves what we’re grateful for, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to remind you of how powerful gratitude can be as a leadership tool.

I meet with teams all the time who are starving for acknowledgement. They’re hungry for positive feedback, for someone to notice what they’re doing well. And it’s not that their leader never says anything positive to them, but there’s this deeper longing to know that their work matters in a special way, that someone sees them.

It’s not unlike the parent-child relationship. Even as adults, we’re still looking for that approval, that pat on the head that says, “I see you, and I’m proud of you.”

Most leaders drastically underestimate their power to use gratitude effectively.

When I press clients about this topic, they assure me that they agree frequently with comments like “Oh, hey, thanks for that. I really appreciate that you got that in on time.”

Well, that’s fine, and it is a step in the right direction. But it’s quick, transactional, throwaway.

Now imagine this instead: You stop what you’re doing. You look someone in the eyes, you slow down, and you very intentionally say:

“Let me just tell you how grateful I am that every day you show up on time, you give us 100% of yourself while you’re here, and you’re a joy to work with.”

Can you imagine how that person feels going home? And how they engage when they come back the next day?

It’s transformative.

But you would have to be vulnerable…

We pretend everyone’s a mind reader (so we do not have to be vulnerable). We assume people know we appreciate them because we think it. But they don’t know. They need those “gratitude deposits”, a constant flow of acknowledgment that what they’re doing matters, and that they matter.

Gratitude isn’t just a nice sentiment for the season. It’s one of the most powerful and inexpensive things you can offer as someone who guides others. And yet most of us are too busy doing to pause long enough for the being.

The being is where connection lives. That’s where people feel seen.

Stop. Look them in the eyes. Tell them specifically what you see and appreciate about them. I dare you.

Watch what happens.