What Is Acceptance? (Labels)

I've been thinking about labels.

We have so many, it's hard to keep up.

We talk about acceptance. Inclusion. Belonging. Celebrating our differences.

And yet...

We keep creating more boxes to put people in.

Introvert. Extrovert. Conservative. Liberal. Narcissistic. Enabler. Executive. Working mom. Neurodivergent. Cisgender. Trad wife. Boomer. Gen Z. Etc.

We use labels for all kinds of reasons.

Some are intended to help people feel seen and respected.

Some help us understand ourselves and one another.

Some simply put people into categories.

And some are just confining.

So I've been wondering...

At what point does a label stop helping us understand someone and start telling us who we think they are?

Human beings just aren't that simple.

We have layers. Contradictions. Rich experiences. Beliefs. Preferences. Values. Stories. And a heavy backpack.

Being human means coloring outside the lines. But whose lines?

And what happens when you don't fit neatly inside the box? My box?

As human beings, we naturally gravitate toward people who are more like us. People who have a similar worldview. People whose choices make sense to us.

It's relatively easy to accept someone we understand.

But is that really acceptance???

Maybe the greater test is whether I can accept someone whose choices I don't understand(!). 😳

Whose politics are different from mine. Whose beliefs are different. Whose lifestyle isn't one I would choose.

Can I disagree with you without deciding something is wrong with you?

Am I whole enough to let you be you?

The irony isn't lost on me that I use assessments in my work. Lots of them. 😆

They are incredibly valuable. They help me (and my clients) understand how someone communicates, what motivates them, and how they see the world.

But I can't imagine looking at one assessment and concluding,

"Great. Now I know who you are."

An assessment gives me one piece of the people puzzle. (Which is why I like to use a battery of assessments.)

And it certainly isn't the entirety of the person.

Neither is job title. A generation. A gender. A communication style. A family structure. A political affiliation.

They're pieces.

Hmmm. Maybe labels aren't the problem.

Maybe the problem is forgetting there's a human being behind them—and no longer being curious and open once we've applied one.

Because genuine acceptance might be looking at the complicated, difficult-to-categorize human being standing in front of us and saying,

"You don't have to fit inside my box for me to accept you."

❤️ Heidi